Minutia Archive 1: 6/26/02 - 9/19/02


09/19/02 10:30:00 PM
Helicopters! look out below! He its the dre dub coming at you from his secret hideout in Southern California. I think we should have our own state.  South California, the land where people are not allowed to use the word "Hella." I work with a few people who have migrated to my great region from Northern California and they use it like its punctuation.

So I have been working a butt load. For the most part I enjoy the working life. however there sometimes comes along a person who just makes you wonder why we don't have stupid people have mandatory abortions in this country. So this guy at work lets just call him "Poppins." Everyday Poppins walks in with his XBOX ready to load up the newest game he bought so that everyone can see how cool he is. Now this doesn't piss me off its just annoying.  when it comes down to getting to work Poppins is usually not. Now there is a certain amount of work distributed amongst us at work and it basically gets split up between us so if someone isn't pulling their fair share we tend to notice. So, to make up for his lack of work ethic (believe me people, it takes very little to get by in my book, so this guy is about the worst employee ever) he tries to make friends. now this means he buys food and gives it to us. I feel bad eating it but you know, its food. Anyway so Poppins has this habit of pulling each individual hair out of his face all day. the hair pulling is done when he should be doing work. so one day we were given some work to do and he had no assignment because he never does work so I give him part of my assignment I don't want to do thinking he might do something for once. so this project took me 4 hours to do originally. so it should take him at least that to pull off. 1 hour later the report is on my desk signed, he obviously just signed off on it without checking because every time I turned around to see what he was doing he was pulling hairs. after that every day at work I ponder why this waste of carbon walks the earth, and more importantly why he has not got fired.

I am sure none of you really cared I just needed to vent.

lets see what else is going on.....

We are going to bomb Iraq....I called it back in June...ask Brad

I quit drinking soda 2 weeks ago. my head is just starting to come back to me.

Chicken Nugget Tuesdays are over....is there any reason to go to McDonalds anymore?

When all is said and done, the critics will say that The Big Lebowski was the best movie of the 1990s. Those who don't are just wrong.

So, until I start working normal hours this is the update you get. let me know what you think. comments mean more updates.




09/03/02 10:56:05 PM
So they did that Jerry Lewis telethon over the weekend...and they only raised $535,000? I assume that's just a local affiliate total, but seems small. Don't they get celebrities for this stuff anymore? Or is it just 3rd rate Carrot Tops (redundant, yes, I know) and jugglers?

Also, there's this local troubleshooter guy on kYOUsi, Michael Turko. Well, apparently he did some story on some shady Solar Powered energy company that did shoddy work on a guy's house. Turko came out, pressured the company or some shit, and (though they didn't really detail how) this guy got his money back or something. But then they get a shot of Turko asking the guy "so everything's been taken care of?" and they cut to a close-up of the guy going "I want to thank Michael Turko, and god bless people like him and the work they do" and here I'm thinking, 'damn, Turko's just setting this guy up so the guy will stroke his ego not only to his face but right to the camera.' I mean, yeah, Turko's cool and all, despite his amazingly pointy head (they could smooth wallpaper with the fucker) and the worst haircut ever, but he's just feeding this guy questions so he can hear the guy praise him right to his face (using the camera as a way to make it look like the guy's not talking directly to him). It's like the guy went to thank Turko, and Turko goes "wait, wait, let's just get this on camera!"

Drew Brees. A-buh. Mo-ley mo-ley mo-ley. Mooooooooooooooole.

We're supposed to get rain this week/weekend. We go from mid 80s to rain, where the fuck do I live, Florida? I mean, come on.

WHOA hot surfer girl...sorry. Continuing...

When you call someone you don't really know on the phone, and they say 'hello,' do you say 'hi!" and nothing else? Well, apparently people do that. Are they new to this whole phone thing?

OOOH man hating lesbian. We're back at zero.

Side note, not that any of you read or respond to these...but if you have a decent photo of me, send it my way. I've decided I'm not vein enough, and need more pictures of myself. It's for a collage. Not really, but that'd be something. But serious about the sending thing, I realized that if I went missing the media wouldn't have a good photo to display of me. There's one photo of me that I have, where I'm looking incredibly blitzed, but that's not really the image I'm going for. They'll go "Brad was last seen at the Clairemont Square, and has a slight learning disability." Sure, my parents would tell them differently, but one look at that photo and they'd speak differently. Not a legacy I'm looking to leave.

Okay, that'll do it. Eat all your vegetables, no dessert if you don't.




08/12/02 4:57:22 AM
Let's just say today, right now, at the date and time listed above this line, you were born in 1986. You'd be legally able to drive right now.

I'm not ready to accept that people have even been BORN after 1984, I just don't think these people are real, and that if I hit them with my car or a piece of wood I'd miss entirely and they'd just vanish into thin air.

And while I expect to hear it from the peanut gallery (largely represented by the fine cities of Fresno, Minneapolis, and Philadelphia)...goddamn does that make me feel old.

Time to sleep. Go listen to Dismemberment Plan.

"Aw Gladys girl, I love you but, oh, GET A LIFE!"




08/07/02 8:54:42 AM
Watching the clock, its 4 o'clock I got 2 hours till I can go home. Well I am sure you can guess by what I just said I am currently employed. that's right buddy! I got a job, no thanks to you!!!

Anyway things have been going pretty smooth for me except for one thing. my throat. you have all played the game Hot Potato I am sure. you know where you sit in a circle or whatever and toss a potato around until the timer dings.  anyway Sunday my mom made a stellar helping of potatoes. anyway as I put one in my mouth I realized that they were the hottest potatoes I have ever had in my life. but by time i realized this it was in the back of my mouth so I figured the best route was straight to my stomach. WRONG. so I swallow the potato and all of a sudden it stops going down and i get extreme pain in the bottom of my throat. after a few seconds I push the potato all the way down into the stomach. crisis over right? WRONG. in the seconds that the spud was in my throat it burned it. anyway for the last three days eating has been miserable. so kids I beg you, next time your mom puts down a plate of something that looks too good to be true. let it cool.

Someone please tell brad to stop kissing horses with an open mouth. and if you don't agree with telling people how to live their life at least tell him to stop telling me about it. (I realize some people won't get this, get with the program. but if you are lazy and really want to know mail us.)

For twenty bucks a month renting movies has never been easier.

I must say downtown San Diego has really turned itself around and is a very nice place if you can afford the rent. I just drive by now and then to bring down the property value with my loud music and whatnot.

The president went on vacation and I have to work, what's with that. I really liked him taking his pre-vacation vacation to Maine last weekend.

I am a Geek, with that said here is a list of the stuff I bought at comic con.. Disco Stu, Professor Frink, 2 TRON action figures, The Mad Hatter, a old school gaming shirt, and a nice Japanese art book.

Okay, I know its been a while but I got to relax before I go back to work. There will be a great update on the main page soon all I can tell you now is that it will revolutionize the way you think about browsing the web.




08/04/02 5:27:43 AM
Life is a highway, I wanna drive it (at a reasonable speed, obeying all traffic laws) all night long...

I wanna ramble about some shit, so let's do this. Today, I'm represented by Cobra Commander. Cobra Commander was like the second-level jock in high school. He was cool, he had his game together, but there was always someone or something better than him. He was a 3-sport athlete, G.I. Joe was the 4-sport, All-State champion in wrestling with the dad who ran the local hardware store. The Commander kinda knew his predicament, however, and just did his best to get along. He was angered by failure, but after looking around and seeing the parade of ineptitude surrounding him, he knew it was par for the course. Poor fella. You may not ever conquer Joe, but you're a king in my book, Cobra. I salute you.

At Cafe Crema last night, and for the second time in as many trips there for us this week, Dre and I watched cops on motorcycles pull over car after car at the Cass & Garnet intersection. They'd just sit by the curb outside Crema, about 20 feet back from the corner, lights off, and wait for someone with a broken headlight to go by, or someone not using their blinker on a left turn yield. There were 3 cops, and two of them would sit at the abovementioned location, with another about 100 feet away from the corner across the street right up against a building, to where as you're going down the street you'd never see the cop until you were at least even with him, and his distance he sat away from the sidewalk probably meant you only saw him coming at you from the opposite direction, from across the street. Early in their campout patrol they were bringing people in left and right, and at one point the two cops sitting by Crema pulled out one after another, like when Jon and Ponch would roll out on "CHiPs."

Aw man, "Ponch" wasn't recognized by the FrontPage dictionary. That's gotta sting Eric Estrada a wee bit. Carrying on...

This sort of crime patrolling seems less than honorable, and seems to carry itself along with speed traps and red light cameras. There seems to be two schools of thought to this sort of policing. The first is the 'shouldn't the police be out patrolling instead of waiting for a law to be broken' group; the second is the 'if you aren't doing anything wrong, then what do you have to worry about?' group. I understand each opinion, but I know when the police are out, stationed in certain areas, that I should watch my speed, remember my blinkers, come to dead, complete stops, that sort of thing. I have a feeling that I could be watched as I'm driving, not sure which driveway along the street has a motorcycle cop waiting to clock me for going 29 in that 25 zone. Not to say it has ever really been present, but this method of policing stinks of mistrust in the public. As if, we're expected to make small mistakes while on the road, and they should be caught and treated with tickets as a result. Other than a shortage of officers, what's to stop the police from stationing 3 officers at every intersection with a light, just waiting for drivers to make mistakes? How does that differ from putting a camera at an intersection? This is worse than a camera, because it's instant and covers more violations. Just reeks of a mini police state. Maybe if they didn't go off quotas, cops wouldn't be so nit-picky about who they pull over. I've seen many cops at this same intersection ignore drivers not using blinkers, or not having a headlight, or something like that. It should be like an umpire - it's acceptable if they're going to call the outside or high strikes, as long as they call them for both teams, and call it that way for the full 9 innings. You become inconsistent, and people get pissed and kick dirt on you.

I don't want to talk about that anymore, in case the gum'mint has that Carnivore shit on my box. Last thing I need is a knock on my door at 2 PM when I'm sound asleep...I mean, in this weather I don't much like bottoms at night, I'd have to find my pants in the darkness and get all diplomatic with the sunglassed officers. On the upside though, I'd then be awake to catch "American Gladiators" on the USA Network at 2 PM each weekday. I'd like to hug the people responsible for bringing reruns of that back on the air. They're great people and deserve to be told as much.

Okay, this update took care of the massive boredom. It's done. Remember to tip your waiters and waitresses on the way out.




07/16/02 6:46:00 PM
Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Yeah, so I haven't updated in the last few days, why you ask? well aside from leading a very lazy life I also have a computer that likes to act up more often than your grandpa's back.  When I try to update the page my computer makes the web page look like a kindergartner got in here and started clicking buttons. needless to say this problem is making updating difficult at best. however after fiddling around with it for the last hour or so I think I can manage a to update and not totally screw up the page. Here we go.

So like many Americans I enjoy the ability to buy mass quantities of food in bulk to save a few dollars.  So last night my father and I go to the local Price Club (Costco). while wandering around the store my dad mentions that the hand dipped ice cream bars they sell at the food court in the front of the store are fabulous. so naturally I want to verify that these are in fact fabulous ice cream bars. So I get in line while my dad checks out. As I stand in line for the ice cream I soon become aware that the elderly woman at the front of the line is taking a long time digging around in her change purse to get the correct change. now normally I am all for using exact change,  because I hate when my pockets fill up with a lot of nickels. so as time passes me by she is still digging, then she puts her purse away and awaits the cashier to take it.  well as the cashier counts the coins don't add up properly.  so she tells the lady that she needs to give her another 5 cents because the food is $1.74 and she gave her $1.69. so out comes the purse again only after that cashier has to count out loud for the lady to verify her mistake. so she is digging. now I am not one to be terribly patient of slow old people who can't add. so I reach into my pocket. out comes a nickel that I go and put with the rest of her change to give her the appropriate amount of change. so do I get a thank you? NO, I get a nasty evil look and then she says loudly to the cashier "People keep getting ruder and ruder" then she moves my nickel to the edge of the counter and continues to dig in her purse for one. showing unprecedented restraint I just stood quietly in line. stupid old lady with Slavic accent.

After some reading on the internet and some downloading of MP3s I decided to buy the new CD by Puffy AmiYumi. a Japanese pop sensation that is supposed to sweep this nation. anyway if you like any type of pop music I would recommend this CD for you.  The cool thing about this is that it is not like American pop that is plagued with sappy sexually charged lyrics, this music is all about fun. if you have ever had fun or enjoy listening to fun music check this CD out. however in Sony's infinite wisdom it will not play properly in my computer. Frustration.

Where is the Patriotism? hmm? yeah I am looking in your direction!

How about that DOW it just keeps falling. in other financial news stock in the Sidewalk Crusaders is up a point and a half.

I finally got my TV to receive HDTV, now I just wish it would produce some sort of audio to go along with the pictures. as we all know if you have video you need sound.

The guy they think kidnapped that Mormon girl looks like Brad's dad. I still think the parents did it. 

Death On Wednesday as brad said rocked the house. Off By One needs to fire the old lady who does their math, they are obviously off by a lot more than one.

If you can get me a job send me a Email - andrew@sidewalkcrusaders.com

Until next time, zip it up and zip it out.




07/15/02 5:01:12 AM
I'm only 21, burnt out on the scene, yeah, just getting by on the memories...

Death On Wednesday show last night. They went on second, ahead of Agent 51. There is no justice for talented bands in this world. I had blood on both my shorts and shirt. I was hot and sweaty. I pushed a bunch of people around. I yelled a lot. Real grunt-grunt testosterone-releasing activities. Dre's right, the pit has changed. Roger from Less Than Jake will fix that when they get their collective asses here on August 19th. I'm anticipating that show more than my next Pearl Jam show. Probably helps I have a confirmed date (and a ticket) for the LTJ show, but the excitement is there nonetheless. I'm getting giddy just typing about it. Anyway, yeah, the scene...not the venue, but the...scene. You get what I'm saying.

We're in line. All the kids looking the same, all about 17, hair spiked, gel, dye, buzz, whatever. Witty statements on t-shirts, but as a friend said, bumper stickers and t-shirts are funny once. I felt so old, like a parent at a parent-teacher conference, where the parent sits in the kid desk. There was also an abundance of midgetlike folk there, just really short normal looking people. Why these people stand in a crowd of people is beyond me. It's the same as if you or I (assuming you're not one of these jockeyesque creatures) went into the crowd at a show, then promptly sat down or got on our knees to listen to the show. First, the echo through the bodies must suck. Second, it's got to be hot down there. Especially at The Scene last night, where it was quite easily 95 with a crowded room, hot venue, and sun coming in until the first band was playing. You add the dank (the funk, the cheese, the Bombay Slum Tiger, whathaveyou), and it's a memorable experience for all the wrong reasons.

The first band got the crowd going with their cookie cutter "Holy crap 'Enema of the State' is the best album of the decade" pop punk, and our further scene alienation was evidenced by the swooning of the crowd when the lead "singer" took his shirt off. Yeah, it was hot, but you aren't Mark McGrath, buddy ( Dre). Scary thing was, his name was Mark. If that wasn't enough eerie similarity for one evening, Andrew asks me at one point "okay, what cover song are they going to do?" After a moment of thorough contemplation, I came up with Deep Purple's "Smoke On The Water." One song ended, and before the next song McGrath goes "alright, we're gonna try a cover song here." I mirrored Dre's face, which was the mouth agape, 'damn, that's some freaky, predictable shit' look. It ended up being a punked up rendition of Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn," which was fascinating to hear because of the kids in the crowd who knew the song. They were probably 13 when that song was popular, why would they know a song like that anyway? Always good to see kids with mohawks instantly reveal themselves. All these scene shows are like walking in to a humid Hot Topic, it's just as ordinary as any other mainstream niche. Not unexpected, but a little sad. I'm not saying it was real when I was 17, but it certainly hasn't improved. Kinda like the percentage of real meat in McD's burgers. All beef patty my ass.

The band was called Off By One, for the record. On local music show (which is on my shitlist at the moment for reasons unimportant to you, my loyal reader) Fox Rox, they brought up Off By One, mentioning they're playing The Scene on the 18th, with an album out in August, and that if Hot Topic had a house band, they'd be it.


August 19th. It can't come soon enough.




07/02/02 5:27:37 PM
The lawn guy across the street opened up the trunk to his car, and pulls out a bag from what store?

That's right, Big! Lots. Their lawn isn't even that nice anyway.

In other news, we're finally getting up the piece we wanted to open the site with, give it a few more minutes and we'll be ready to rock and or roll.




07/02/02 12:19:00 PM
Prepare yourself, its go time. just 2 days until the 4th an I am getting giddy. as most of you know around the DreDub ranch we like to blow the roof off this mother to celebrate our county's independence.  And we will be doing so for the 5th year in a row! This year we hope to bring you some nice pictures and a good recap of the festivities right here on your Sidewalk Crusaders Network. 

So it looks like that millionaire made it around the world in his balloon, glad to see he is doing something good for the world with all of his time and money, who knows how many lives he has saved by sitting in a small room way above the ground for a few weeks. 

Now if you are as addicted to Breaking News as I am, you watch one of the plentiful cable news networks. for those that like the constant possibility of a Breaking News story CNN is the place to be. CNN gives the feel that every news story they bring you is more important than the previous one.  Also CNN has Larry King who could quite possibly be one of the funniest people alive, just check this web page out if you doubt me. Oh yeah, and he looks like an Owl.  If the possibility of seeing some one shot or getting killed in an automobile accident your bets bet is FOX NEWS. Fox News combines a certain amount of conservative biased news that attracts old people and people who hate government.  If you like news that seems a little more hi-tech than the other channels you should spend your time watching MSNBC. But Exacta is the only person I know who watches that channel. I stopped when they canceled The Site with Soledad O'Brien.

Music seems to fluctuate. some years see fabulous CD releases and others see such releases as Shaq's Diesel album. this fall and winter look to be packed with great CDs that I think I am going to have to open up the pocketbook for. Here is a list and approximate date for the release of the albums. You should be excited. 

Mighty Mighty Bosstones - July 9th
Green Day - July 15th
CKY - Late Summer
Rocket From The Crypt - September
Steve Poltz - September
Pearl Jam - November
Foo Fighters - Fall 2002
The Aqubats - Late 2002 - Early 2003
Less Than Jake - Late 2002 - early 2003
Save Ferris - Late 2002 - early 2003

So it looks like we got drunks flying planes now. 

So the San Diego County Fair isn't open on Mondays and doesn't open until 11AM. it also isn't going until the 4th of July as it has previous years. then the people that work there are bitching that people aren't spending any money.  First off, if its hot out I am less inclined to fork over money for something hot. so if I were at the fair before 11AM maybe I would eat something. second since when did the fair start being a museum, closed on Mondays? what kind of lame crap is that.

- Andrew



06/27/02 10:46:00 AM
Greetings, from my hideout. I have been not so secretly looking for a job and waiting for phone calls.  Looking for a job has taught me a few things in the "real world." 1. The classified ads do jack squat 2. Waiting for a job call sucks hard. 3. I really don't want a job.

As you can see the Sidewalk Crusaders dream has finally become a reality.  After a few years of speculation and hearsay it has finally emerged as the leading power of the Interweb information and hilarity.  Hopefully in the coming days all our sections will be fully operational. then we will be the ultimate power in the universe.

Exacta and I went to "The Scene" yesterday during their scheduled hours to purchase tickets to see Less Than Jake on August 19th. of course because we go all the way out there nobody was there to sell us tickets.  although a guy who works for UPS believed that we may work for the scene. I wonder what we could have got if we told the guy we were. probably 5-10 for fraud.

I guess working for MTV as a VJ means that eventually you will move to another channel and have a talk show.

Dr. Dre makes rap music sound better.

They still haven't found that Mormon girl.  my money is on the parents.

- Andrew



06/26/02 05:42:06 AM
So, this is going up for two reasons...first, so when you click on the "Minutia" link, it doesn't point to some nonexistent page, and second, because I'm not ready to start doing full updates on the main page yet. I need to tweak the pages to prepare for an onslaught of hilarity, what with two people posting on the same page and all. I'm surprised my computer's held up under the weight of the LOLOLS I've delivered to you, my loyal readers, over the past 16 months.

Instead, I think I'll just do as the header says, and ramble for a bit to take up some space. After all, it's what I'm good at!

I'm watching the World Cup, and I think it'd be fun to be a defender, and just yell "BACK!!" the whole game, even when my team's got possession way up at the other end of the field. I'd make plenty of friends that way.

All this Univision watching has shown me that, contrary to past summers, I'm not immune to learning things! I find myself picking up 2-3 words every sentence from the main announcer, up from the previous 0-1 just a month ago. I'll be working the deep fryer at Jack In The Box in no time!

Hey, a tourism commercial for Turkey. I don't care what's there, unless I was a journalist you couldn't pay me enough to get near that part of the world right now. "Discover Turkey!" Yeah. You go, and show me your photos.

What's a shittier job, head of media relations for the Montreal Expos, or director of tourism for Iran? Discuss amongst yourselves.

When they roll out [cue Ludicrous now] the flags in the middle of the game, how could you NOT be a little pissed, suddenly you have a big damn flag over you, and it's not like it's 70 degrees there, we're talking 80+, and you can bet your AMC student Movie Watcher card it's not a dry heat. You find yourself under the flag of a country like Turkey, and you know those people have a natural scent different than your own (make of that what you will)...the result must be a World Cup-size stench, and no good view of the game. Hopefully they're kinda see through flags, because for the price of a ticket you can bet I'd get out a pen or something, and make myself a little hole in the flag to see the game.

It strikes me as odd to see the Korean fans dressed in the colors and designs of Brazil or Turkey...almost like on Battlebots, when they have people in the crowd hold up and waive around crudely-drawn signs saying things like "FEAR VLAD" or something embarrassing like that. That's one great thing about watching old NFL Films episodes on ESPN Classic, you get the shots of the fans with signs like "The Jets Are Taking Off!" with a drawing of a plane with the NY Jets logo on the side of it. What I don't get though, is how you can psych yourself up enough to dress yourself in red/white or yellow/blue/green and cheer for Turkey or Brazil, when you are Korean. As we've seen, the Koreans cheer like few others, but how do you rally up that enthusiasm for a country on the other side of the planet? They must get paid off by someone, wonder if the Battlebots producer is involved with these games...

Oh well. I've got enough here, and hopefully the next time I'm ready to type this much it'll be a regular update and not one of these minutia snippets.